Reading my first blog here I am really surprised. I decided to look at my various past blogs and after various attempts at remembering the username and password finally had a chance to look at this blog.
First of all; I know I never updated at all, until now. My big plans to learn how to prioritize… Yeah… Went down the drain.
I am so bad at prioritizing that I skipped my classes for a whole semester. Why?
Because I was exposed to a whole new world. Something that I had never understood before and unfortunately I made that my priority.
My last update was written by a 20 year old nerdy female. She loved anime, cartoons, fantasy novels, and believed in fairy tale romance. She lived in a small crowded apartment with an honors and dean list, pothead feminist, and a wannabe-badass rugby player who I know little about even to this day.
The upstairs neighbors where potheads and sold weed. They were always high and would have lots of ragers.
I would be at the library every day. It was my second home. Since my roommates were always hogging up the living room I needed a place to feel free. The library was my place to relax.
The library was also the place where I would see my crushes. My crushes, then, all followed certain attributes that I found attractive. One of them being that they were of Asian descent. I had a thing for smooth faced tall Asians. Mostly because they were stereotyped to be sweethearts and had cute baby faces.
I was a virgin who had never had a boyfriend or even been kissed. I had done a good deal of hand holding though.
My friends, they were all of Asian ethnicity; mostly international students. We would go out to eat on a regular basis. We would exchange cultural information, play board games and talk about all kinds of things.
The person writing this blog today… Well, she is a pot smoking, borderline, alcoholic, promiscuous, airhead.
I live in a college house a block from the middle of my university’s campus. The neighborhood is made up of a ton of houses full of people who throw parties every Thursday to Sunday. Every night you can see and hear the swarms of college students as they excitedly roam the streets for the biggest party. A place where they can do all the things that they know they shouldn’t.
My house had a nickname. It is one of those houses that everyone knows about. A house where you might have drunkenly blacked out, thrown up, gotten in a fight, cried your eyes out, slept with a complete stranger, received a minor, or tried drugs for the first time. My house is called the Barnhouse. Why? Simply because it’s big and red. It has two living rooms, two bathrooms, a basement, 10 rooms, one kitchen, one big pantry, a big porch, a side yard, a front yard, and a big backyard parking lot. With all that space it’s the perfect place to party.
In this very house, I had my first shot of hard liquor. Now I can get drunk any time of the week. I constantly go to the bars with my roommates and friends. To get a buzz I need three shots of hard liquor. I sometimes drink a little too much and black out, only to wake up and wonder what I did.
In this house I smoked weed for the first time. Now, i smoke up almost every day. Female perks, they never have to pay. I have my own hookups.
In this house I had my first kiss. It was a week before my 21st birthday. I was drunk. This guy was chasing. After so many years of being afraid of being physically close to someone I decided to let that fear go. He asked me to kiss him and I did. Two days before my 21st birthday I lost my virginity to him. I stopped talking to him for two months after that happened. Within those two months I had sex with two guys. One was a hipster who went to England every summer. He was kind of awkward so I cut off connections with him. The second guy was this energetic, iron pumping tough guy who seduced me with his dorky side. We’ve fooled around a couple more times after that. January I somehow began talking to the guy, I first had sex with, again. We began sleeping together more regularly and that leads to my first friends with benefits. Last time I saw him… Last night.
In this house I learned about the night. I saw the world in a whole new light. I dress differently now. I act differently now, I think differently now. I am not saying my route right now is the right path. But I am also not saying it is a path no one should walk through. Clearly, I am what society calls a rebel, a misfit. I am a promiscuous airhead, pothead, drunkard who likes bad boys.
I am going to work on that when I go back home for summer break. I am going to reflect on my choices. I am not going to say I am going to change just yet. I acknowledge that one day I am going to have to choose a different lifestyle.
I just want to share my surprise at how different I am than when I first moved to my university and how a year can make all the difference.
Here is to hopefully more updates soon. Maybe in a year I will make another post and realize yet again how much I can change.